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Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Reintegration

Eric and I have had a long distance relationship for several years throughout our almost 12 year relationship. I think it's been a blessing and a curse depending on when is happening in our life at that time. While we chose to spend the last six months apart for a variety of reasons, we didn't really think about what would happen when we were able to live together again. And like I said in my previous post, we didn't really talk to the boys about what would happen to the people we left behind in Michigan.

In the last week, Eric and I have hurt one another, we've nitpicked at each other for little things, we've loved one another immensely and intensely and we've tried to regain our connections to one another. Rest assured, it's not like our marriage is in jeopardy. Not even close. We just have to figure out how to to be around one another in this whole new life we've been given. First, we're a family again. Eric isn't "single" and I'm not a "single parent". We're back to figuring out how to be a team. Second, we're unpacking and talking about likes, dislikes, how to eat together and how to figure out our mornings. Eric's new job allows him to be home. A LOT. Like all the time. That's hard for me, in the last four years, I spent roughly 4,000 hours alone and now, Eric comes home for lunch and in between a workout and work, he's home on the weekends and he's able to be home by 4:30 at the latest.

We also have two kids, the boys are trying to test their Dad to see where the boundaries are. They are testing both of us to see if we're united. They've cried for their grandparents. They've yelled at the top of their lungs to "see" their grandparents on Face time or Skype. They've brought me broken toys and have insisted that their Pop Pop could fix them for them, and they've lit up a room with their smiles when they've been able to see their grandparents through technology. While I think that they've done remarkably well, they are still not as resilient as we'd like to think. This dramatic change from a three generation to a two generation family has been a big one.

It's been a challenge. It will be for some time yet, but as we continue to unpack boxes and get our life organized, we will figure out how to make it work. Our first week here was absolutely insane. We made instant new friends in some awesome neighbors, we attended a wedding and rehearsal and we even stopped by Eric's Alumni game (for a few minutes). Nothing about it was a normal first week in a new place, but life doesn't stop so you can find the perfect place for items in boxes labeled "miscellaneous junk".

My last post was a little sad, and while it's still hard to be away from all of the wonderful things Michigan gave us and all of the people we miss, being here, in our new house as a family is absolutely wonderful. Really. I'm happy, the knot no longer exists, I'm finding out which light switches work for which lights and I'm able to snuggle into Eric each night. I feel like there is a huge load lifted from my shoulders.

In another week or so I'll feel "organized" enough to start our Preschool program again, and I'll feel like I can make plans and start our new normal. I still think it will take some time, it maybe six months before we feel like all the pieces are put together again, and as we get more comfortable and figure out all of these new personalities that are under one roof we will have some challenges adjusting and accommodating. Until then, we're really enjoying being a family of four and cannot wait for all of the exciting things that Colorado has to offer us.

 

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