In case you haven’t caught up, we’re having a baby! A little girl actually! The boys are beyond excited and cannot wait for her to arrive. I on the other hand have been having reservations ever since they declared that we were having a sister.
|The Super Big Brothers announce that they are getting a sister!|
At about the 15 week mark I thought I was crazy for wanting another baby. But one night while I was putting the boys to sleep I felt her kicking a lot. I thought that maybe they could feel it too. As we lay in the boys’ bed together I took Henrik’s hand and placed it on my belly where the baby was moving around. Sure enough, the baby kicked and Henrik sat up from his almost asleep position. “I felt her kick me! She kicked my thumb!” It was at that moment that I knew that this baby would be welcomed by the big brothers and honestly had my heart warm up and let out a huge sigh of relief.
The night before the 20 week ultrasound I took the boys to dinner so I could talk to them about the baby:
A: Listen guys, tomorrow we get to see the baby and we will find out if it’s a brother or a sister.
H: It’s a sister.
T: Yup, it’s a sister.
A: OK, but you know, it could be a brother.
H: It’s not, I don’t know what I’d do with another brother.
A: Yeah, actually I don’t know what you’d do with another brother either, but let’s pick out some names just in case it’s a brother.
T: JOE!! We can name him Joe! Den, we can say, “Hey Joe!”
H: Yeah, We can call him Joe Joe!
A: Uhhhhh Okaaayyyy.
H: And if it’s a sister we should name her Sweetie Precious.
T: OH YES!!!! Sweetie Pwecious.
Anyway, after conversations like that about the baby, and waiting those long 20 weeks to find out that we were in fact having a sister, I started to get worried again. Yes, I wanted it to be a girl but only because the boys wanted it so badly. But I started to freak out a little bit about having a daughter, I mean, I really know boys. And, I started to get nervous about having the boys around her. I knew that they would never hurt her, but they would unintentionally suffocate her with love. Fortunately, Daniel Tiger on Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood came out with an amazing three episodes this past summer when Daniel’s baby sister was born. My boys were glued to it. They LOVED it.
Actually, they loved it so much they refused to watch anything else for three months.
I took advantage of the power of PBS so I started preparing the nursery, with their help. When it was time to build the crib and bassinet, they did it. When I wanted shelves made for her room, they helped their dad build them. When I started to decorate and put things in place I was reminded to “put sheets on the bed”. They soaked up every minute of being the biggest and big brothers.
Their pride in helping get ready for their sister really made me much more calm about adding a baby to our already wildly perfect family. But the sweetness that ensued a few weeks later, and that continues today, makes me realize that adding a third child to the mix was the right decision, even though we are now outnumbered.
One night, while the boys were in the bath, I decided to use the Doppler to listen to Sweetie’s heart. They came out of the bath and saw my belly out, with goop and this thing that made so much noise. I explained what I was doing and what the noise was. They were immediately sucked in. They wanted to do it and took so much pride in finding her heartbeat and feeling her move around inside me.
Another night when I was in charge of bedtime, Theodor insisted that we lift up my shirt to expose my belly so that “Sweetie can wisten too”. One morning, Henrik came down stairs and walked right up to me with a smile. I thought he was up to no good, but he said, “Um, Mom? Can I please tell Sweetie something?” surprised, but of course I said yes! He lifted my shirt and spoke to my belly button, “Hey Sweetie, it’s Hanky, I’m going to school today, but I’ll see you later” then he walked away.
It’s these little things that make me so much more relaxed about having another baby. It’s made it easier to talk to them about what I can and cannot do once the baby is born. They seem to understand that they will have to be “big helpers in their family” when Sweetie arrives and they seem to (for now) be totally on board with doing what they can with her.
And as we enter the last few weeks of this pregnancy, I’m still a little overwhelmed by the number of pink items I was given, but I’m starting to be less freaked out about being a mom again and so much more excited about getting to meet my daughter. Even though I have 2.5 children right now, and even though I am totally calm about delivery etc. I am still nervous about raising a little girl. There are so many things I want her to know and understand. There are so many things I want her to want to be, and so many things I don’t want her to go near. But I guess I’ll have to save those fears for another day. For now, I’ve got to remember that as this is my last child, I need to savor every moment of what’s happening to my body. I have to remember that the boys need me too. I have to remember that adding a baby is something wonderful for the whole family and I cannot wait to introduce Sweetie to her brothers.
|Just one load of pink!|
I think that will end up being the best day of my life.
|Photo Credit- Mo Barberena|