In case you haven’t caught up, we’re having a baby! A little
girl actually! The boys are beyond excited and cannot wait for her to arrive. I
on the other hand have been having reservations ever since they declared that
we were having a sister.
 |
| The Super Big Brothers announce that they are getting a sister! |
At about the 15 week mark I thought I was crazy for wanting
another baby. But one night while I was putting the boys to sleep I felt her
kicking a lot. I thought that maybe they could feel it too. As we lay in the
boys’ bed together I took Henrik’s hand and placed it on my belly where the
baby was moving around. Sure enough, the baby kicked and Henrik sat up from his
almost asleep position. “I felt her kick me! She kicked my thumb!” It was at
that moment that I knew that this baby would be welcomed by the big brothers
and honestly had my heart warm up and let out a huge sigh of relief.
The night before the 20 week ultrasound I took the boys to
dinner so I could talk to them about the baby:
A: Listen guys, tomorrow we get to see the baby and we will
find out if it’s a brother or a sister.
H: It’s a sister.
T: Yup, it’s a sister.
A: OK, but you know, it could be a brother.
H: It’s not, I don’t know what I’d do with another brother.
A: Yeah, actually I don’t know what you’d do with another
brother either, but let’s pick out some names just in case it’s a brother.
T: JOE!! We can name him Joe! Den, we can say, “Hey Joe!”
H: Yeah, We can call him Joe Joe!
A: Uhhhhh Okaaayyyy.
H: And if it’s a sister we should name her Sweetie Precious.
T: OH YES!!!! Sweetie Pwecious.
 |
| Sweetie Precious |
Anyway, after conversations like that about the baby, and
waiting those long 20 weeks to find out that we were in fact having a sister, I
started to get worried again. Yes, I wanted it to be a girl but only because
the boys wanted it so badly. But I started to freak out a little bit about having
a daughter, I mean, I really know boys. And, I started to get nervous about
having the boys around her. I knew that they would never hurt her, but they
would unintentionally suffocate her with love. Fortunately, Daniel Tiger on Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood
came out with an amazing three episodes this past summer when Daniel’s baby
sister was born. My boys were glued to it. They LOVED it.
Actually, they loved
it so much they refused to watch anything else for three months.
I took advantage of the power of PBS so I started preparing
the nursery, with their help. When
it was time to build the crib and bassinet, they did it. When I wanted shelves
made for her room, they helped their dad build them. When I started to decorate
and put things in place I was reminded to “put sheets on the bed”. They soaked
up every minute of being the biggest and big brothers.
Their pride in helping get ready for their sister really
made me much more calm about adding a baby to our already wildly perfect
family. But the sweetness that ensued a few weeks later, and that continues
today, makes me realize that adding a third child to the mix was the right
decision, even though we are now outnumbered.
One night, while the boys were in the bath, I decided to use
the Doppler to listen to Sweetie’s heart. They came out of the bath and saw my
belly out, with goop and this thing that made so much noise. I explained what I
was doing and what the noise was. They were immediately sucked in. They wanted
to do it and took so much pride in finding her heartbeat and feeling her move
around inside me.
Another night when I was in charge of bedtime, Theodor
insisted that we lift up my shirt to expose my belly so that “Sweetie can
wisten too”. One morning, Henrik
came down stairs and walked right up to me with a smile. I thought he was up to
no good, but he said, “Um, Mom? Can I please tell Sweetie something?”
surprised, but of course I said yes! He lifted my shirt and spoke to my belly
button, “Hey Sweetie, it’s Hanky, I’m going to school today, but I’ll see you
later” then he walked away.
It’s these little things that make me so much more relaxed
about having another baby. It’s made it easier to talk to them about what I can
and cannot do once the baby is born. They seem to understand that they will
have to be “big helpers in their family” when Sweetie arrives and they seem to
(for now) be totally on board with doing what they can with her.
And as we enter the last few weeks of this pregnancy, I’m
still a little overwhelmed by the number of pink items I was given, but I’m
starting to be less freaked out about being a mom again and so much more
excited about getting to meet my daughter. Even though I have 2.5 children
right now, and even though I am totally calm about delivery etc. I am still
nervous about raising a little girl. There are so many things I want her to
know and understand. There are so many things I want her to want to be, and so
many things I don’t want her to go near. But I guess I’ll have to save those
fears for another day. For now, I’ve got to remember that as this is my last
child, I need to savor every moment of what’s happening to my body. I have to
remember that the boys need me too. I have to remember that adding a baby is
something wonderful for the whole family and I cannot wait to introduce Sweetie
to her brothers.
 |
| Just one load of pink! |
I think that will end up being the best day of my life.
 |
| Photo Credit- Mo Barberena |